Crush On You

What am I supposed to do with all of this unrequited energy? Explode? That ain’t fair. You’re supposed to stand firm and catch this shit I’m giving you. With consent, of course. 

We met under the prettiest of circumstances. Art galleries set the stage for unions quite unseen. 

“What is it about this painting that moves you?” The painting didn’t move me. You did. You were standing right next to it, silently pouring out your soul onto it. It spoke to you. You tilted your head to the right, bit your lower lip, squinted slightly in the direction of color and brushstrokes coalesced into something that doesn’t quite make sense. 

You made sense, that’s all that mattered to me. 

I had to make sense of the senses going off inside of me when I first laid eyes on you. You were heaven and earth, light and darkness. Love and lust. Stuck in the grey of the black and white of who you were to me. You walked away and I cursed time. Our first encounter wasn’t supposed to end that way. 

Having a crush on you is an ill feeling. Never in my life did I ever think I’d fall for someone like you. My heart was never open to the idea. I’m down bad. But I care enough about how I feel to acknowledge the real monster of my emotions. You can’t cage in this beast forever. 

I ain’t scared by these feelings. They’re real and honest and true. Real feelings ain’t supposed to scare you. At their best, they reinforce that you are alive. To feel love is to feel a pulse. To feel a pulse is to breathe. If I open up my eyes, I’m here. More time to see your face. Sometimes I think that seeing your face is the only reason why I fight to stay alive. 

I think you know. I think you know about all of what I feel. You’re around more than I can handle sometimes. It’s as if you get a high from watching me melt around you. You can see me inside of the vapors. I can’t hide it as much as I think I can. But even through that, even through this level of reluctant transparency that I carry when it comes to you, I still want to hide. 

Hide with me. We can build a world so dope that we’ll never leave. And that’s what I want. 

I see you a lot. Our planets collided one day and now our orbits are intertwined forever. 

I want to be twisted under you. Longing and lost under you. Seeing stars under you. Blacking out under you. Just get me under you. You’ll see. 

Let’s go hide away so you can find out.