Surrounded by this voice drenched in a Southern lilt, this talking book full of affirmations encapsulates me with whispered tones of “I love you” and “I can’t live my life without you.” You know it’s not for you yet it feels as if you’re the only woman in the world listening. You can tell through the comments below the video that you aren’t alone — there’s a community of like-minded women blessed to hear a man — this man — dote out words of affirmation as they — like you — curl up under the duvet and drift in and out of lucidity. The heavy breathing, the sighing, the “no, I’m still awake…”, the -fill-in-the-blanks conversation meant to induce slumber, all of it is just twenty-five minutes of a fantasy. An internet-birthed, unorthodox, borderline-insane, flesh-medicating fantasy.
Abbreviated as ASMR-BR, Autonomous sensory meridian response-boyfriend roleplay consists of men with very appealing voice boxes talking, laughing, breathing and being all things boyfriend — in recorded form. He asks about your day, calls to say that he misses you and even kisses you in between your favorite scenes in a movie. He’ll talk to you until you fall asleep or sex you into an intense shut-eye, whatever a good boyfriend must do to ensure that you know he’s forever yours.
I had no idea of its existence until a chance encounter with a YouTube link led me down a rabbit hole filled with words of affirmation and growls of pleasure coming from the voice of a Black man acting in place of a real boyfriend. Curiosity of a qualitative kind got the best of me and as I went deeper into this fantasy world, I wondered what it would be like to have him be my reality for a week. Challenging my holiness and hormones, my ASMR boyfriend gave me one hell of a ride. Just like a boyfriend should.
ciara roslyn-james 